Tuesday, March 1, 2016
Something about today has sent my heart-a-sinking. Nothing about my situation has changed, but today I feel pain and anger and guilt and remorse. I feel like a fraud, and that my goodness is limited at best, and at worst, I'm the same finger-pointing nonsense machine that I rail so vociferously against. I want only to be wrapped up in the hottest bath I can stand and gently glide out of this mental mess. I want to realize again that nothing has ever been all good or bad, that the innocent are the guilty, and whenever I told myself that it was either/or I was gravely mistaken and missing the difficult-to-grasp-fact that I had a vantage point.