Friday, January 8, 2016

Not so much prose as exposition today

Upon returning, I of course went back to read older posts. I believed, truly, that there was a curse on me. Now I know that as I was writing those words, I was six weeks away from meeting my husband. I know that story isn't over, not a Disney movie, but it's an interesting plot point. And then I stopped writing. I stopped riding too. A lot of the things I clung to in my lonely life, I gave up pretty quickly, and unconsciously. And, as the words unfold here, I'm making a return. And in the spirit of compassion (and not excuses) it's inaccurate to say I gave up. Like a plant, I gave all my energy to the seed. I had to, or we would not be in this beautiful place we are now. It's been tough to burst out of the sand, to need more than I did when we were just in the pod together. And because I'm me, it came with a lot of self criticism. Some things didn't endure the change. One friend wouldn't.

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